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Having one of those "I'm not doing anything" days because I slept or lazed around all morning.

But since then I've
  • gone to WI craft group where I learned a whole new kind of craft (book folding)
  • a bit of Lib Demmery, including inviting a new Lib Dem to local #libdempint, passing on important e-mails to the people who can do things about them, and agreeing to go to a meeting in a few days
  • e-mailed Metrolink & Northern to try to set up a meeting about how inaccessible Manchester Victoria is (as leader of the VI Steering Group)
  • e-mailed the council guy and the RNIB about the taser thing
  • printed off stuff I need for my book
  • did an update (accidentally two updates) for my Kickstarter backers. The previous update hadn't worked (not surprising when these two nearly didn't either) so the poor fuckers hadn't heard from me since June!
  • ordered new printer ink when I didn't have enough to print off what I needed
I think I still have to convince myself it is okay not to go to yoga tonight. I keep forgetting I have a yoga mat of my own now so I might do a bit here but I think I am still too sinus-infected to go to the class I usually do.

Morning

Feb. 24th, 2017 10:31 am
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Sinus infection.

The amount of standing around in the cold waiting for inadequate public transport last night probably couldn't have helped, though the scratchy throat was there before I left, when the last bus of the night left me stranded.

The visit was useful anyway, getting help from a friend for a job interview I've gotten sorta by accident which I felt totally out of my depth for. I'm feeling out of my depth in other ways now, but better aware of the things I should do and worry about if I'm going to this interview.

Someone's calling me in an hour who's doing research on LGBT migration and looking for people to talk to I guess. Other than that, so far me and the dog are staying in bed today. I've started reading "The Story of Your Life," which Arrival is based on. I loved the movie, and apparently the book is even better.
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* According to Facebook's On This Day feature, anyway.

Went swimming with [personal profile] haggis and Katie today, first time I've been able to join them in more than a week of trying to go together. [personal profile] haggis and I are going to try out the yoga class tomorrow evening, whiich I'm intrigued by. I've never done yoga.

Then Tea Hive, then [personal profile] haggis got me my Christmas present, which was to drive me to B&Q and buy me a ladder because it'd be impossible for me to get one home on the bus.

This is unreasonabbly exciting. A lot of stuff at B&Q was exciting: well-designed kitchens! Nice light fixtures! I had a moment of oh god I'm so old and boring..., etc., but part of me didn't even feel it as I was thinking it. Part of me was already thinking well, actually... DIY stores were always boring as hell when I was a kid but that doesn't mean being an adult is boring.

I was bored when I was a kid because I didn't have any say in the choices being made, couldn't pick a new light fittng or be allowed up a ladder so of course I was bored. Now I can do what I want (well exept I have no money but still), and that's never boring. In a similar way, grocery shopping, which I considered its own circle of hell as a kid, got a lot more fun when I went to college and could buy whatever I wanted (until my money ran out).

It might be exhausting (there's a lot of decision-fatigue in my life!), but not boring.

I wouldn't want to be a kid again. I feel enough like one when I'm back at my parents, and that's bbad enough even knowing now what I didn't know then (like that the internet exists, and I can escape in a week!).

Today

Jan. 7th, 2017 09:50 pm
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I've done nothing but lie on the couch all day, reading and watching stuff on Netflix (mostly Master of None which I'm really enjoying).

If I was a normal person I would probably have thought this was a nice, relaxing day. But since I'm me and don't know how to relax I've only done this because I'm too stressed and anxious (cf yesterday, it kinda carried on into this morning) to do anything else.
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I had enough sleep, did some cleaning in preparation for in-laws descending on us (vacuumed, cleaned the bathroom, took out a lot of garbage which is hard to do when your bin has been stolen!), was sociable with them for a couple hours, did two loads of laundry, walked to Burnage and back to fetch Gary after the second half of his holiday there...

...and still feel like I've done nothing and am way behind already and need to get started.

This is the problem I have with all this New Year motivation and ambition...doing what I do never feels like enough.

Though really this problem has been going on since I got back from my parents', just because I think I felt so frustrated there and so badly missing all the things I couldn't do, from going to the gym to working on my book, that now in the evenings when the day has calmed down I just feel exhausted and overwhelmed and incapable of doing anything but waiting for it to be bedtime.

I think I'm finally caught up on sleep, which I didn't need so much for feeling-tired purposes as my-brain-needing-to-sort-things-out purposes. I don't feel like that's happened but at least I was able to do all the chores and stuff today.

And I'd have gone to the gym if they'd been open past four; I've been hampered by their reduced hours since I got back and am looking forward to it getting back to normal tomorrow. And to stores being open normally again tomorrow -- we need food, too.

Maybe I'll get back to normal tomorrow too. My normal isn't so great that I'm really looking forward to getting back to it, but it's better than this.

Hollydays

Dec. 29th, 2016 07:32 pm
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I'm not tired but I can't think of anything I can do. Having spent the last nine days either cooking or being sociable with the family or being bored to tears by what my parents call "relaxing" (time when I had nothing to do but knit, read, or spod on the internet), which was always interspersed by chores anyway...my brain and body are now rebeling.

I can't enjoy knitting or reading or social media or watching movies because these things are now associated with my last resort from crushing tedium. I started unpacking but we have so much new stuff now -- more clothes than there's room or desire for, mostly -- that I'm too disheartened and overwhelmed to finish it.

The house is cold and I haven't slept in so long I don't know what day it is, so I've gotten into my warm new Vikings pajamas (for all I was grateful to get back here, the pajamas smell like my mom's laundry soap and that make me homesick) and under an extra duvet with an old favorite audiobook, but I'm not tired. Not in the sense of "sleepy because it's the end of the day," anyway. I guess I am tired in the "I need a holiday to recover from this 'holiday' " sense.

Busy day

Nov. 20th, 2016 09:08 am
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Busy day!

Levenshulme is gathering for a walk through a park where a woman was raped earlier this week. This is close enough in my house that a friend rang me to tell me about it because she thought it was the park I walk Gary in (it's not, except on occasion, but it's certainly a park I've been to plenty of times, with dogs and friends and kids as well as on my own). So we're having a "walk without fear" through the park that I want to be at this morning.

And then it's Manchester Bi Coffee, a social meetup, which I've promised to be at as an organizer this month after leaving poor [personal profile] haggis to deal with it alone for a few months as it seems to always be a week I'm away. This time she's away, so that's only fair.

And then I'm meeting some friends from the WI.

And then I hope to get to Manchester's Trans Day of Remembrance event.

Volunteering-wise, after woefully ignoring the One Day Without Us stuff, I'm signed up to the forum, I'm tweeting again, and I'm trying to work out whether I can arrange a meeting in the first week of December like the national organizers are encouraging everyone to do. I'm worried no one will show up.
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I fell asleep for a few hours, woke up to lots of nice messages this morning, which helped a lot. Went back to sleep, woke up mid-afternoon. Went to see if the dog needed to be let out but he didn't. He did sneak upstairs, though, and despite having been badly behaved when allowed in our bedroom previously which is why he's shut downstairs at night, he just dived under the covers and slept at my feet. A warm, comforting welcome presence that I was particularly grateful for today.

[personal profile] mother_bones offered to visit, which ended up being the only thing that got me out of bed. She's just left, after many hours of lovely chatting and lovely takeaway. It's helped me so much.

I'm starting to feel teary again, but I'm better than I was. Annoyed I can't find the beta blockers I was prescribed for exactly the kind of debilitating anxiety I've got now. I don't need them often so fuck knows where they've gone. I teased Andrew this afternoon that it's a shame he never filled the diazepam prescriptions he got when his stress was so bad because I could use one now.
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By 12:30 this afternoon, I had...
  • gotten out of bed very early (around eight), feeling relatively rested (though my "relative" baselne here is not good right now)
  • did laundry and hung it outside (hooray for sunshine!)
  • walked the dog
  • remembered to take my meds
  • took recycling out, took bins out, and put them back when they were empty
  • wrote a little version of my "migrant story" for this website
  • texted a friend to make plans to get together this week
  • ordered a massive, overdue online grocery shop, which will be here tomorrow afternoon
  • typed up my shitty longhand notes from the LGBT+ Lib Dems conference I was at recently and sent them off
  • went with Andrew to a GP appointment
  • ordered new prescriptions for Andrew and I before we've even run out of the existing ones (though it'll be close, for me!)
  • ate reasonably well/appropriately
And yet I feel like I've done nothing, everything is overwhelming and crushing me.

Updates

May. 24th, 2016 08:10 pm
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The eye hospital appointment I wasn't looking forward to this morning was actually really good. A year ago I had a low-vision assessment, which basically consisted of "gadgets, can we give you them" -- it's where I got what they call a telescope, which I call a monocular because that's what I was told it was called when I got a much more low-tech one in grade school, and because telescopes are for looking at planets, not train departure displays. The orthoptist I saw the last time I was at the eye hospital told me he'd make sure I got my 12-month follow-up low vision assessment like was planned at th my 12-months-ago low vision assessment, and I got the impression I'd be discharged from MREH then to the care of my GP and optician as my condition's stable and...well, basically, I only had anything to do with them in the first place because I had to, to get registered blind.

This time I got a trainee who only introduced herself by her first name (Gemma), and she was really great. Somehow I ended up talking about the assessment I'd had from the council last summer, my frustrations with Henshaws who seem to limit their interest in me to trying to get me on a course I don't think suits me, my struggles with the new swimming baths -- I was talking to somebody who was a trained lifeguard, so she really lit up at that and was very confident about the advice she gave there, which was kind of great. We talked for absolutely ages, it was oddly therapeutic and entirely unexpected. I did come out of it with another gadget, though I wish they made it with a slot for each kind of coin or something; pound coins are some of the easiest to find because they're twice as thick as the others.

Anyway, I went straight from the eye hospital this morning to helping Morag with her Ph.D. research, which just meant walking around on a wonderfully hot and sunny afternoon and wittering as much as I liked, so basically perfect for me. Again, oddly therapeutic even though I don't think I was very good at answering questions specifically about Manchester which is what I was technically supposed to be doing, but Morag seemed very happy by the end of it, and I had a good time.

I also failed entirely to eat anything until after this, which might have contributed to me going home (and, admittedly, after a sandwich and a yogurt) crashing out hard. I didn't get much sleep last night, I got home just after Andrew had left for his pre-Brian-Wilson-gig pub meet, the dog was being cuddly and sleepy, so we both just crashed out.

I woke up not feeling up to going to the WI meeting tonight -- which is a shame because I missed the craft group yesterday for basically the same reason -- and am now struggling a bit: I feel like I should have done more with my day, even though there was a lot of thinking involved in both of the things I was out doing today. I was so good at keeping on top of the housework when Mom and Dad were here and that has inevitably fallen by the wayside since, which I'm vaguely disappointed about...but of course not enough that I've actually tidied or vacuumed or done the dishes. I ended up talking a bit to Morag about my Kickstarter book, and now I'm feeling guilty about not doing anything on that, either.

But also it occurred to me that two weeks ago I was frantically tidying and fixing and stressing ahead of my parents' visit, and that everything has been pretty exhausting since. I just worry when I'm so lacking in motivation, when I just shut down any time that there isn't some external pressure getting me to do something.

Oh also I had a phone call on Sunday about the fat-girl focus group thing, which in the process answered the question my friends and I are pondering there about what's meant by "an outfit you feel really good in" -- like Sass and I feared, it seems to be a "what makes you feel sexy" type of thing they're after, which...I don't ever do? To me, an outfit I feel good in is trousers with lots of pockets and a t-shirt with something funny written on it. But I can work on that tomorrow -- homework's not due until then!

The lady who rang me seemed to think I'd be awesome at this...once again that thing about me that Em J so diplomatically refers to as "being direct" is a feature and not a bug like I usually worry it is. Apparently this is an unusual setup in that there will actually be senior people from the company paired up with us to hear what we have to say, and with the practiced delivery of someone who's had to reassure many fat girls, this woman said "they'll be more scared than you are." Me, not needing reassurance of course, was like "quite right! bring it on!" (only to myself though...but I probably gave that impression anyway in what I did say, which might be why she said I was going to be awesome at this). Should be a laugh, anyway.
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So: no cricket for me yesterday: poor Sri Lanka had to follow on and the match was over by Saturday night.

After only a week's worth of symptoms I usually have for about a day, my period's showed up, with extreme prejudice.

I ordered three prescriptions last week: one of which after telling me different things about it all week I now have to get from the hospital rather than the GP, one of which I have to have my blood pressure tested before they'll give me any more so that's this afternoon. Unfortunately I know it's never just a matter of testing my (perfectly fine) blood pressure, it's a big lecture about how I'm too fat. Because that's what always happens, every year for the eight or nine years I've been taking these pills.

Tomorrow I have to wake up early just to go to the stupid eye hospital for the appointment I missed a fe weeks ago.

I am not feeling very good about anything right now.
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I spent most of this morning trying to sort clothes: what needs to go to a charity shop/clothes swap (I have the vaguest of plans to organize one for my WI), what I won't wear now it's warmer and what I do want now it's warmer.

I spent the rest of it solving problems I didn't know I had: the microwave doesn't really come clean any more and needs replacing anyway, the fridge was starting to grow mold from where water's dripping somewhere I the back of it.

I think I might just have to offer my parents our bed because it'll be the only full-size one in the house.

Putting things in the loft isn't really a solution but it feels like one for now; maybe the physical exertion and the mental planning needed to get everything up there by myself (except one box which is too heavy and will have to be emptied into smaller boxes) makes it feel more satisfying than it should.

I don't mind the physical effort of cleaning or tidying, but the mental effort -- all the little decisions to be made, all the organizing that has to be done -- exhausts me even at the best of times. And this is certainly not the best of times.

I'm sort of convinced I haven't done anything and don't deserve a break, even as I'm also convinced that I have done more things than can reasonably be expected already today.

The nice weather doesn't help: surely I should be outside with some refreshing and alcoholic drink?! The fact I've been up since six doesn't help either.
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Octonauts, bedtime stories, then I get to eat crisps (my host having remembered I prefer savory snacks to sweet, which makes me feel well-looked-after) and snuggle under a blanket to watch documentaries on Netflix about aliens. And in an hour or something, a couple of tipsy friends will come back and be terribly grateful that I have done this.

Walking

Apr. 18th, 2016 09:13 pm
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Weekend before last I ended up doing a lot of walking, which was really good for me after a week of brainweasels (they've been really bad lately: I lost a couple of days to just being asleep more than I was awake, I got way behind in dishes and laundry and cooking and eating and pretty much everything, and i just felt terrible all the time, while also feeling terrible about not doing anything).

This picture of all our muddy shoes is from my new WI's walking group. The weather was good, despite appearances (it'd been rainy the day before, and a few places we went still had standing water), in that very British way weather can be good: we didn't actually get rained on, it just kept seeming like we were about to!

We got the train to Wilmslow and walked along the Bollin to Styal, a village that was built for the workers at Quarry Bank Mill, and a lot of its houses are part of the estate (now owned by the National Trust).

It was a good day: packed lunches and stopping for tea in the cheap community-run cafe instead of the posh National Trust cafe, dogs running through the mud puddles, we even saw a cow that had the bad luck to be lying right near the footpath to Quarry Bank Mill so had an audience of people wondering why she was lying on her side. When one of our WI ladies suggested she might be calving, another said sympathetically "We all know what that's like!" For all Levenshulme WI is full of some not-what-you'd-expect-for-a-WI ladies, I was the only one of the half-dozen of us who wasn't the mother of grown-up children.

I contributed to the WI-ishness cliches though by having cakes with me that I shared and people said nice things about and wanted the recipe for. Everyone I've introduced to Jack Monroe's peanut butter banana muffins to seems to love them (and these didn't even have the chocolate in, because I didn't have any; I figured they'd be perfectly nice anyway and they were!). Vegan and flourless and good for anybody as long as they can have nuts and like bananas.



The day before, I'd gone to Etherow Country Park with JT & Claire & Small T,someplace they've been a lot (it's not far from them, and Claire drives; it'd be more challenging to get to by public transport), but which I hadn't been to before. It's really nice, with level paths around the water and steeper ones going up the hills and all around. We didn't have a ton of time to spend there and with a six-year-old didn't make the quickest or most direct progress, so I didn't see as much of the hills as I might have liked but I got enough of an idea of how beautiful it is.

Small had a great time feeding the ducks and geese a stale barm cake brought along specially for the purpose.



This one had followed us along the path, which runs next to the water, for quite a way... as long as Small had bread left in his plastic bag, anyway.



And I love this picture, dad pointing things out to boy. Reminds me so much of being a kid myself.

We again had lots of dogs to admire, didn't actually get rained on, ate our picnic lunch (they brought a flask of Winter Spice Ribena, which basically tastes like mulled wine but sadly has no wine in it), took Small to a nearby children's play area where he made friends with another kid who wanted to ride on the tire swing at the same time he did, and had an ice cream. A lovely day out, all in all.

I'm keen to do more of this sort of thing now that the weather's starting to improve (...sort of, I mean; we did get hail and some places had snow last Saturday). Exercise and sunshine and company; I'm looking forward to summer.
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The theme of the last week or so has been helping other people with their illnesses/disabilities/as-yet-unidentified conditions.

I saw two GP surgeries that weren't my own, one hospital, and only missed a Welfare Rights office appointment to help someone else with their PIP application (knowing I'd recently gotten it myself, he seemed to be treating me as a good-luck charm in helping him prepare) because of the hospital appointment.

And all this while worrying about my mom, who had a consultation on Monday and a biopsy of an artery/vein (she's told me different things at different times...) in her head.

At least I got to talk to her tonight; she seems reasonably optimistic about her prognosis and didn't seem to find the procedure any worse than it needs to be -- that she was worried mostly about stuff like her hair looking stupid and it being inconvenient as a glasses-wearer for a while I am taking as a good sign. Plus her consultant sounds awesome -- I guess it's the same one my dad had for his cataracts? and he really likes the guy, too.

By Friday afternoon, I was done with the last bit of being moral support for somebody else's appointments, came home and did basically nothing for the rest of the day. Yesterday I started catching up on laundry and other household stuff that'd gotten neglected, and also managed to catch up with [livejournal.com profile] diffrentcolours for lunch (first time in ages!) and a quick bimble around Levy Market and the new gym/library complex.

Which was good, actually, as I hadn't seen more of it than just the pool on my first visit there a week earlier, and between the assholes setting off smoke alarms thus evacuating the place and losing my glasses there (with little interest from the staff, thus little hope of getting them back, and indeed I was brushed off again when I asked about them yesterday), I hadn't had the greatest first impression of the place. Now I know where the gym is, which is handy, and what to expect from the library (they have a scanner you can use! handy as I need to scan my passport...).

Today I got a truly ridiculous amount of sleep, a couple of days' worth. And even then I couldn't make myself get out of bed for a while, which is very unlike me. Usually as soon as I'm awake I get bored and restless and have to get out of bed. Today if it hadn't been for eventually worrying I was being antisocial I might be there still.

I have done very little indeed today -- some overdue dishes, made something actually approaching an actual roast dinner for Andrew, and started copying-and-pasting ten or eleven years' worth of LJ entries into a document that I am now calling a book. I also bought myself an MLB TV subscription and have been happily watching Twins' spring training games in the background while I've been doing this other stuff. I didn't feel able to afford it last year but now I can tell myself the whole year is just one week's worth of my PIP. So it's very nice to see and hear such familiar things again, even if the commentators are All Wrong (Dan Gladden, blech, and dull Cory Provus).

Tomorrow I can go to the WI craft group -- there's a bigger, busier evening version and a quieter, smaller group that meet alternate Monday afternoons which sounds more my speed, and I know Em J's been and likes it. Tuesday I have a meeting to sort out the MOSI exhibit's tour for visually impaired people that has kind of lain dormant since before Christmas -- there are some great new handling objects for it that make the exhibit much more managable and exciting for us to talk people through. Think that's about it for plans this week, which means I'm suspicious that I've forgotten something!

Busy week

Feb. 23rd, 2016 05:38 pm
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This is Andrew's first week of working from home every day (he wants to do this for a month or so, while he gets used to new immunosuppressent meds). I'm sure he thought this would mean he saw a lot more of me but last night when we went to bed (after I'd been unexpectedly out during the afternoon and so tired I was falling asleep by 8:30 so he really hadn't seen much of me all day) that it wasn't going to get any better any time soon.

I had an eye hospital appointment first thing this morning (I had it in my head it was nine o'clock but when I checked the appointment letter it was 8:30!) I went from there to JT's to help him with his PIP form. I'm home now and trying to stay awake/well enough to go to my WI meeting tonight.

Tomorrow I'll be up early again because I'm babysitting. Tomorrow evening (hopefully in time for the pub quiz!) I'll be in Brighouse, and of course I'll be there Thursday too.

The only thing I have planned for Friday, so far, is trying out the new Levenshulme swimming pool with Katie once she's finished work, so Andrew might actually get to see me then!

Saturday evening I'm going to Bisexuals of Colour: The Past, Present and Future, which I'm really excited about though I'm sad it means missing going to this month's Surreal Reel at Hebden Bridge Picturehouse (they're showing Brazil) with people.

And on Sunday we might go to Games Night. We might not! It feels very far away now, impossible to tell.
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I ended up having a ludicrously busy week.

Tuesday night was the official formation meeting of Levenshulme WI, wherein the WI advisor from our "federation" (Lancashire) had come along to ask us to formally create the branch. Her expectations of these questions being perfunctory went awry almost immediately over arguments about the name which the committee thought had been sorted but a bunch of the potential members (including yours truly, to be fair) did not think we'd had any input on at all and didn't like the appointed name very much. Then when it was discovered that the year's subscription was payable up-front and there is no mechanism for paying by installments (the first year, at least), no concessionary rate and no ability to eg have a raffle or a fund people could donate to to help people less able to afford the cost, we started asking how to change this and it turns out it'd require the WI constitution to be changed. And we asked how to do that, and the at this point clearly overwhelmed lady who'd dealt with a room full of shouty women for at least half an hour pointed out that we weren't even officially a WI yet and could we do one thing at a time.

I don't know if I've ever been so proud of Levenshulme as I was just then.

The lady from the facebooks who came over to clip Gary the Wonder Dog's toenails for us (no mean feat!) the other week was there, asked how he was doing. At least two conversations were started by the fact that I still had a sticker on my top of a Lego spaceman, since I'd come to the meeting almost straight from looking after Small T that afternoon.

Wednesday was one of Small's performances in the local am-dram's pantomime, and he'd asked me to come along, so I've seen my first panto. He also wanted me to go along when his parents took him to Blackpool for the illuminations before Christmas, so I have this family to thank for a couple of very English experiences I'd otherwise not have had (oh, and I got to see his school nativity too, which...I'm still too American to think school nativity sounds anything other than bizarre). I could see how a lot of the British comedy I love got to be what it is because of having panto as a distant relative.

Friday I slept until two o'clock in the afternoon because of a combination of sinusitis and nasty period/PCOS pain. I had to go lie down for a couple of hours at four. I did most of the housework that needed doing despite this, and even went to the bank and took Gary for his last walk with us before going off on his holidays at the weekend so that we could be away without worrying about him.

We went to Yorkshire. First Hebden Bridge on Saturday afternoon, where I remembered how to get to the Picture House despite having only been there once before and not paying any attention (yes it's not hard to find, but I'm very bad at finding things, and I even remembered we had to cross the road because the pavement is too narrow in one bit). We met Jennie and had time for a quick half at the Old Gate, sitting outside under cover from the freezing rain because it was too busy inside, no doubt due to it being the only pub that was open.

We were there to see The Tingler, a silly Vincent Price movie I'd seen at Stockport Plaza for Halloween a couple of years ago. We got to/had to sit up in the balcony; the ground floor was still flood damaged enough that there were no seats in it at all. This meant we were quite a distance from the screen, but it's not a huge place so I could follow what was happening fine. It was part of a series called Surreal Reels, which meant we got a little survey to fill in about our experience which we made sure to leave glowing remarks about (asked to rate it from one to five, Jennie drew an extra box with a six next to it just so she could tick that) because we want more of this sort of thing. There was even atiny introductory talk, a few minutes from someone Jennie identified as "Paddy from Emmerdale," who apparently likes horrror movies and directs them in his free time. It was like a tiny slice of Fantastic Film Weekend for us, so obviously we were all delighted. We ate sweets and giggled a lot at the film's unintentionally funny moments, of which there were many.

We stayed over in Brighouse and hung around for Games Night on Sunday. But not before a lovely pub lunch at Millers. I actually played some games and didn't have a migraine or anything this month, though I was definitely feeling Out Of Sorts due to the combination of getting over sinusitis and having a really hurty PCOS-y period. Since Andrew had taken this week off work, we didn't have to rush back to Manchester on shitty Sunday evening trains and stayed another night.

The event of this week was going to Newcastle with JT, his train ticket for which I'd gotten him for his Christmas present. His family's from the area and he lived in South Shields when he was young, thus knew all the best pubs to go to (The Bridge Hotel, right by the castle, srsly) and was as excited as I've ever seen anyone about being able to get something called a saveloy dip. He brought one of those insulated shopping bags so he could take back some saveloys and pease pudding, having told the woman in Dickson's that he'd traveled 78 miles to get this stuff. She was going off shift just as we left the shop and caught up with us while hurrying to the Metro station near where we were walking, so she asked us how long we were there and stuff, made small talk before our ways parted. People are so friendly. Going down the escalator at a Metro station is enough like using the Underground that I was shocked when someone sprinting by me (same rules as London: stand on the right, panic and flail on the left) who bumped into me actually turned and said sorry!

Today I was in Brighouse then, mostly getting James food and drinks and painkillers because he couldn't move, but having a nice day apart from that. Mat got a new kitchen toy that means I could take his old food processor home with me, and considering how many recipes I'd otherwise be interested in require or at least benefit from one, I am very excited. I might have to make salsa tomorrow. If I can figure out how it works! There's a fearsome amount of attachments and whatnot.

I feel like I've already figured out enough new things for this week because this morning I set up the new dehumidifier to replace the one that stopped working in our basement a few days ago. It's untolerably damp there without it, and much as I resented how much the damn things cost I had to admit it was needed. It seems to be worth the price though because it is very swish: it has like a thermostat for humidity (humidostat?) so you can set it at whatever level you want, and it also has the possibility of draining through a tube so I don't have to faff around emptying the water tank or worrying about the moisture collecting when for whatever reason I haven't been able to do so. Between this and the handrail on the basement stairs, finally installed by the council after an Adult Social Services referral to sort that and some grab rails for the bathtub (that only took nine months, but never mind, it was done for free!), I feel like it might not always be such a grim and uninviting place. It's still pretty grim and uninviting, mind. But less so!

Day off

Jan. 29th, 2016 09:51 am
hollymath: (Default)
After a week of being very busy, and being pretty ill for half of it as well, I'm looking forward to doing Nothing At All today.

Well, except the dishes really need doing.

And a couple of loads of laundry.

And that reminds me, I need to order a new dehumidifier, because ours is broken.

And I need to send at least two e-mails sorting out volunteering stuff.

And apply for two jobs.

And if I'm not too ill, I want to go to the discussion about Bisexuality: Identities, Politics, and Theories this evening...

But that still seems like a day of doing nothing!
hollymath: (Default)
I feel like I did nothing yesterday even though that's patently untrue.

I did a load of laundry, changed the bedding, cleaned everything in the kitchen, went to the gym, went to Asda and dragged home a lot more stuff than I intended to so now the house is full of food, even my knitting-and-Netflix time was spent taking notes on the thing I'm re-watching because I'd like to submit something for an anthology on David Bowie about about how Life on Mars helped me figure out how to like his music.

Normally I'd feel amazing about doing all that in one tired, mentally and physically subpar day. But I guess I'm struggling enough that I don't even get the proper feedback for the things I have done, and feel just like I would if I hadn't gotten dressed or left the house or done anything to speak of.

But I guess you sometimes have to do the things just because you're a grown-up, and not because your brain's gonna give you that chemical cookie to make you feel good about it.
hollymath: (Default)
It's been a busy, sometimes weird, but I think mostly-good week.

Saturday I spent six hours in the car, keeping Stuart company on a road trip to pick up something drum-related. I love riding shotgun for things like this. We listened to a CD of Squeeze's greatest hits and shouted at the satnav and generally had a fun, if tiring time. When we got back I bought us takeaway and we watched a splendidly horrible 50s-style B-movie, one of those about radioactive monsters.

Sunday Andrew and I went to the cinema, I already told you about The Good Dinosaur.

Monday I seemed to spend all on buses. Andrew needed a replacement bit of his CPAP mask, which had broken on Friday night so we'd had a few nights of terrible sleep before the Sleep Service at Wythenshawe hospital was open again. The hospital's a pain to get to by public transport from here, though: you can avoid the frustration of getting unfamiliar buses and it taking two or three to get there by getting a bus that's pretty direct but only goes once an hour. I didn't mind the length of the journey there -- it winds through the part of West Didsbury we first lived in after we got married, and since I never have reason to go back there now it's strange to see things that remind me of a not-terribly-happy time in my life, when I was broke and lonely and really mental most of the time. But by the way back, after a 40-minute wait for the return bus, I was lulled by the tedium and the nights of poor sleep into dozing off and waking up at the end of the route -- which luckily is close to my friend JT's house, so I stopped in for a cup of tea and helping his six-year-old with his homework before coming back home.

Tuesday morning I was on the radio! I also had a nasty panic attack, though, and ended up being on the phone with my friend K most of the time that I was on the radio, so while I heard snippets of it (enough to be weirded out by what my accent apparently sounds like now!), I wouldn't properly listen for a couple days (I have an edited-down recording of just the bisexuality bits of the show, if anybody wants it let me know). I went to Brighouse that afternoon, where [personal profile] magister was happy to help me feel better with cuddles and food and beer. We watched documentaries about David Bowie that James had recorded the evening before. I told James thinking about Bowie had been making me want to watch Life on Mars again, because that show really helped me learn to like some of his music, and just when I was thinking this was a weird reaction James said probably a lot of people could say the same, which was nice because I felt a little less weird.

Wednesday James and I mooched around Bradford for a bit, got lunch from lovely Czerwiks with [personal profile] miss_s_b, and just as I was thinking about falling asleep for the evening, Jennie asked if anyone wanted to go to the pub quiz with her and her parents, so James and I did. It was a lovely pub, cozy and full of dogs, or at least it seemed so in the corner where we were, with Jennie's parents two lovely dogs who I'm glad I finally got to meet. We did really well at the quiz (including knowing Phil Collins was the answer to the question about two seconds after Jennie and James had mentioned him in conversation; their predictive powers didn't work so well after that, which is okay because we didn't nee them) and won some free beer, which was handy as I hadn't brought the cash I thought I had.

Thursday I came back to Manchester with James, who was on his way to see his parents. Since I got into town at just about [livejournal.com profile] diffrentcolours's lunchtime, we went to Koffee Pot together, and had breakfast and coffee to warm up on the bright but freezing day.

And today I've woken up to tiny patches of snow, where the sun hasn't burned them away yet, for the weather is similar. I'm waiting for a bus to take me to a friend's house: he's cooking lunch and we're going to play games, possibly even including the ones I'm bringing for [twitter.com profile] SurvivorKatie because I haven't seen her since I got her Christmas present (and even then the dog tried to chew the cellophane off so they look a bit...well-loved already, but I'm sure she'll understand!).

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