hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
I want to write about some stupid medical bureaucracy shit that happened to me this morning (nothing urgent or scary, just tiring), but right now I'm so goddam tired and it's so depressing. So have instead a conversation I wrote down between Andrew and I before we went to sleep lsat night -- or, technically, today:


Andrew has refined the numbers of which Brooklyn 99 characters he is down to 50% Boyle, 40% Holt, 10% Scully).

I said I wasn't going to ask him who I was because when I did that online quiz that said I was Rosa he disagreed and told me I was Amy and I was outraged.

"Yeah, you are Amy!" he said so of course I was outraged again (acknowledging that denial of Amy-ness is probably a sign of being an Amy, just like wanting to be Rosa irrevocably disqualifies me from being Rosa).

"l wish I was as organized as Amy!" I said. "She'd be horrified at me, I can't even write a to-do list! How the hell am I like Amy?!"

"You're organized," Andrew said although I had just proven I am not. "You have binders and folders and things!" he said. "You own stationery."

Reader, I couldn't stop laughing.
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
"Flicking the v's at you!" Andrew just said to his book. He was doing it too, of course.

He's reading a history of western philosophy (he's been ranting to me for a while now about what a dick Rouseeau is) and the sentence that inspired this reaction was something like "John Stuart Mill is not quite in the first rank of philosophers."

Andrew, a good Liberal, might be said to disagree with this, heh.
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
This morning on Mastodon I saw somebody say
15 years old: listening to Billy Joel authentically

26 years old: listening to billy joel ironically

32 years old: listening to billy joel authentically
and I realized that if you take about 12 years off of all those ages, the same is true of me and Bruce Springsteen.

So then naturally I had to listen to some Bruce Springsteen. I danced around the kitchen while I was making my french toast for breakfast.

Andrew woke up and came downstairs so I turned off the music when I sat down to eat. He was clearly still earwormed though, because he started singing the guitar riff from "Born to Run."

I laughed and said "You're actually pretty good at singing like his guitar! It's not like one of those things you think you're good at but I don't..."

"It's also the Blondie guitar sound!" he added helpfully.

"...Oh yeah," I said, thinking particularly of "Atomic." "I suppose that makes sense, they're sorta from the same kind of era..."

"And they're from the same geographical area!" Andrew said.

I laughed. "...Yeah I don't think guitar sounds evolve into local populations like that."

"There's a very famous guitar tree on the New Jersey turnpike," he told me very earnestly. I laughed a lot.
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
"It's a shame your t-shirt only says 'Lesbians and Gays,' " Andrew said.

I'm wearing my "Not Gay As In Happy Queer As In Fuck Your Borders" t-shirt, as has become customary on Pride days (Levenshulme Pride today).

The t-shirt was a fundraiser for Lesbians and Gays Support the Migrants (which is what it actually says at the bottom of the shirt, where Andrew had read this in the first place).

I explained that it was harkening back to Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners (and for the same reasons, recognizing their oppressors are the same and so it helps to stick together), which I don't think he'd known.

He seemed content with my explanation, but then added "They could've at least made the 'bi' in 'lesbians' big! LesBIans." I laughed.*

He thought a little more and said "Les Bi Ans," as if it were a French phrase (so it took me a while to clock that the noise he'd made would be spelled this way, because French phonetics makes no fucking sense to me). "That means 'The Bi Years,' " he told me.

"It'd be a great name for a biography," I said (and then yes, heard myself say "biography" and thought "Bi-ography" must already be taken).


* You could also write it "...support The migRANtS" to get the "trans" in there!
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
I try not to talk negatively about my own political party in public, because we have all of the media to do plenty of that for us, while the positive things go unnoticed or misunderstood.

But as several of us have said, the consultation on what our immigration policy should be is abominable. I've been mired in it this week, trying to face up to questions awful both in style (unevidenced assertions, soliciting opinion on matters of fact, leading questions) and substance (bigotry worthy of Nigel Farage or the Daily Mail).

I wish I could say I didn't, but I feel personally attacked by this consultation paper. However! I'm buoyed by how many of my friends are sharing the words they've used to stand up and speak up against it; this is also something I'm taking personally.

When the questions made me nearly cry from frustration or fear that the world may never improve, these people make me nearly cry with their unashamed support for me, and for other immigrants who've had it much worse, and for refugees and asylum seekers.

Most spectacularly, and the one I can share with you verbatim, is Andrew's. He's gone on a proper tour de force here.It includes so many good bits that [personal profile] miss_s_b said she kept reading bits of it out to [personal profile] matgb until she just read the whole thing to him.

It's basically summed up in this paragraph.
I urge that this consultation be dropped as the appalling piece of racism appeasement that it is, and that those responsible consider the idea that at a time when the country is about to go through the catastrophe that is Brexit because for the last thirty years nobody in the mainstream of politics has dared to stand up and tell racists that they might be wrong about anything rather than pandering to their so-called “legitimate concerns”, when even the economic profit and loss calculations that this consultation prizes so much more highly than human beings are being destroyed thanks to hatred of immigration, it might — it just might — be time for a political party to suggest trying something else instead?
But the beat paragraph for my mental/emotional equilibrium is probably
My wife being here has brought me untold benefits, even though by any purely economic cost/benefit analysis I, as principal earner in our household, am down many thousands of pounds by her presence (many of those thousands being money paid to the vicious bureaucracy that this consultation paper presupposes needs only minor tweaks). Perhaps the people in charge of this consultation believe I should send her a bill for the tens of thousands of pounds I have spent on her over the years, for which all I have received in return are love and affection and companionship and other such trivialities which affect the exchequer not one whit.
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
Andrew just told me about all the dreams he had last night. Lots of stress ones, but also his brain seems to be trying to do him some favors by dreaming a box set of all music and Doctor Who and things Andrew likes. And then he told me about one where he was walking Gary through somewhere that something bad had happened, they had to climb over fences and stuff. "And Gary was barking and his barks were words and they said 'Don't worry, I'll protect you. Don't worry, I'll protect you,' " Andrew told me.

My heart felt like it grew three sizes. Gary has turned up in scary dreams of mine and his dream-presence has cheered me up and calmed me down. I even dreamed he escaped into our bedroom once to rescue me from a bad dream. He looks after us even in our dreams.

"He didn't know many words," Andrew said. "But he could say 'Don't worry, Andrew, I'll protect you.' "
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
Andrew noticed how bushy his mustache was looking in his reflection today and said "if I had white hair I could say things like 'well, bless my whiskers!' and tell the kids magic wasn't real but with a twinkle in his eye while he was saying it."
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
Andrew's telling me about his dream. His sister told him she was trans so we couldn't go on our planned trip to the Moon because the insurance was all messed up since the documents were in her old name.

"We were all ready to go, at Disneyland where the trips to the Moon leave from..." he started. And actually, it seems very plausible to me that commercial Moon trips will go from Disneyland!
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
Andrew's trying to get the dog to stop barking.

"Calm grey ocean, Gary, calm grey ocean."

I was reading something, so it took a second for my brain to catch up with my ears.

"Calm grey ocean?" I was worried this was going to be part of his anti-sunshine, pro-overcast worldview, but no.

"Yeah, well, he's colorblind!" Andrew explained.

Of course. I should've known...
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
"I thought I hadn't slept at all last night, but thinking back on it, that part where we gave Gary my skin cream to drink and it turned him into Matt Smith probably didn't actually happen, did it?"
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
"[livejournal.com profile] softfruit should be in the House of Lords!" Andrew said, apropos of nothing.

"...Okay, yeah!" I said as soon as my brain caught up. I didn't need to know what brought this about about in order to agree.

"And I'd say [livejournal.com profile] diffrentcolours should be, too, if being a lord didn't give him even more excuses to take on too much more than he can do," Andrew went on.

I still couldn't disagree with any of this...but now that there was getting to be a list, I wanted to know why I wasn't on it. Especially since [personal profile] miss_s_b's renewed drunken interest in getting me a peerage to call attention to ho difficult it is for non-EU citizens to attain UK citizenship. So I asked him, "What about me? Why can't I be in the House of Lords?"

"I think it'd do your head in," Andrew said. "You'd just spend all your time thinking 'Ahhh, what is even going on here, how can this be a real thing?!' I'm only thinking about my Holly's fragile mental health here!"

Ha. He may have a point there.
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
Exemplary text from Andrew yesterday:
Waiting for man chest hair train semicolon expected time gets one minute later every minute
That he refuses to learn how to get punctuation into his texts, but is also unwilling to make do without semicolons, says so much about him.
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
Andrew's just asked me to help him with re-writing the lyrics of a Monkees song into a Shakespearean sonnet.
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
After his latest blog post, explaining what's gone wrong with the Hugos this year for people who've seen the outrage but weren't previously clued-up and now want to know what their friends are talking about, Andrew's been invited onto some podcast so he's on Skype downstairs.

...I'm trying to read and I keep hearing him yelling things like "the Futurians were Trotskyists!"

It's slightly distracting, but I so very approve of this. If nothing else, it means he's explaining things that bother him in great detail to Americans who aren't me!
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
I crawled into bed and woke Andrew up, which is just as well as I didn't want him to wake up to see me upset -- I'd been crying, out of sheer overwhelm and pain that words weren't adequate to express.

He spent a long time giving me cuddles and trying to make me feel better...and, in the process, make himself feel better because he so hates to see me weepy and miserable that it's almost impossible for him to overcome that. So desperate to fix what can't be fixed, he can get distraught

Eventually he, face buried in my pillow next to me and arms tight around me, said "I just want to envelope* you in loves until you shine with lovedness."

It was heart-meltingly sweet and I loved the image but I told him I wasn't sure what that meant. (In emotional situations, his vocabulary can get a little surreal in the endearing way of people just learning a language.) He said he didn't know either but we agreed it clearly meant a good thing.

* Not envelop. Envelope.
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
Andrew's able to smugly tell me that "everyone who's dating James likes my blog post!"

I didn't tell him that I liked it! I think he just assumes that.
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
Andrew, running his fingers along my hand: "Your finger's all...lumpy, there!"
Me: "That's my knuckle, love."

The world is forever full of surprises for my dear husband. It must be fun, if it ever stops being confusing.

Commentary

Oct. 3rd, 2014 02:49 pm
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
The Allman Brothers' "Jessica" came on Andrew's random mp3 shuffle.

"There's not a British person who can hear this without thinking of the snooker," Andrew said. And then attempted to correct himself: "I mean, racing."

"No," I said. "You mean Top Gear."

"Oh yeah," he said. "I got my sports mixed up."

I agreed. He also got snooker and motor racing confused with sports.

"I knew it was a car program!" he said. "A man program."
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
Andrew wrote this on Facebook yesterday:
I am going to hold a referendum on whether my house should declare independence. There are arguments on both sides. On the "no" side, there's the fact that the [our address]ish economy is largely reliant on imports for such vital supplies as kebabs and superhero comics, while on the "yes" side it's incredibly unlikely that a post-independence [our address] would have a Tory government any time soon.
Registration for the referendum is at an unprecedented 100% of residents, not counting the 50% of residents who don't get a vote because they're foreign. Early polling remains inconclusive, and tensions remain high, with at least one prominent "no" spokesperson expected to issue a statement shortly that the [our address] electorate should "stop messing around on Facebook and go and do the dishes like you said you were going to half an hour ago".
Naturally my first comment was
The spokesperson would also like to point out how lax this campaign is being with sensitive personal information like its home address. If an independent house can't be trusted with such basic information, how can it expect us to trust it has our best interests at heart?
Andrew said:
The Yes campaign would like to refute those disgraceful slurs, by which it means rebut as all politicians do when they say refute, by pointing out the need for all campaign literature to carry an imprint stating the address at which it was published, and further pointing out that it's a friends-locked post and all our friends either know where we live anyway or don't care
One of his friends chimed in with:
The independant house would be welcomed into the global community of independant dwellings, geodysic domes, manses, and yurts.
then adding the acronym: "Gcidgdmy!"

Then it was me again:
The No campaign isn't interested in your empty rhetoric, it is only interested in action. So make sure you put the bins out when you go get your kebab.
(At least we were not, I should say, in the same room when we were talking to each other like this. I had been trying to take a nap before this assault on my dwelling (and indeed my status in it! calling me a foreigner in my own house?!).

Andrew said
I am proud to stand on my record. A record of doing the dishes, a promise of putting the bins out when I can be bothered to stand up again.
To which another of his friends made the very good point: "If only more manifestos contained 'when I can be bothered' I might believe them. There's a swing to the Yesses here." Following this up with "I realise that I am not eligible to vote in this election, but I'm English so naturally thought you'd appreciate knowing what I think even though it's your election." For some inexplicable reason, this got lots of 'like's.

Again I worried, as I always do when Andrew and I have conversations on the internet, that people will fret for us and think we're having a violent argument. I don't know if it's more or less fret-worthy that this is our idea of fun!
If only the house had a Devo Max option. We could have been cranking up the nu wave hits right now.
Andrew's friend Sarah said again (well actually soon after all this nonsense she sent me a Facebook friend request too! so she can be my friend as well now).And then another friend said something that really made me laugh:
Just to add another English, not involved but going to tell you anyway comment...( Include me in the 'don't care re. address' and 'highly worried that you're having a domestic' demographic of non-voters )... Thought you might like to know that Daves on his way to persuade you to vote 'no'. Bolt your doors and put the oil on.
Then from Debi, an important question:
Also English and not involved, therefore have an opinion: what will be the policy on immigration into the independent state?
Considering the dim approach Andrew takes to most humans and his fondness for being left on his own, I speculated that not only would immigration be frowned upon but that mere tourist come-over-for-a-cup-of-tea-or-board-games-or-crash-in-our-spare-room visas would be impossible to come by for all but a lucky handful of people. Indeed, the Yes campaign takes a dim view of emigration too, telling me after a few hours out of the house, or even asleep when he's still downstairs, how much he misses me.

Whatever happens, I just hope the bloody referendum happens soon, before we all get sick of hearing about it.
hollymath: Selfie: white person, three-quarter profile, smiling, brown hair shaved on the side we can see, chin-length on the other (Default)
I got the most lovely e-mail from Andrew, a perfect travel send-off:
Hope there are no lines, that the vegetarian food is edible, that there are three films you want to watch on the little screens, that you accidentally get upgraded and get free spirits, that the flight from the US takes just long enough that you have plenty of time in Amsterdam to get to your plane but don't have to wait a long time, that you get some proper sleep on the plane, and that you get home tomorrow feeling refreshed, happy, and loved.

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